“Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.” – John Lennon

I am going to keep this post short because after all I slept until 4:00, so I didn’t really experience the day much. I have a 4-day school week which is a relief. Again, I am going to be happy even if I’m not really. I have no expectations for this week. I am really going to try to do really well with my school work this year. I used to be really social and that was my main focus but now that it’s not, I need something constructive to focus on…so why not do well in school, get into a good college, and have a successful life, right?

Tid bits:

Design your own computer font — free! Simply print out the word form, write in letters, scan it, and upload it to the website, then download! It’s cool to type a school paper in your very own customized font!

<www.fontcapture.com>

Listen to:

The musical, Avenue Q! I’ve never seen it (though I have heard it’s really good), but I have listened to the songs. Everyone will be able to relate this musical. It takes the negative things in life and makes them happy. Each song is upbeat and is guaranteed to cheer you up on a bad day.  Go to www.grooveshark.com and type in Avenue Q to listen to the songs!

“Don’t frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile.”

I went to the charity event thing today. As usual, it was a let down regarding people. I always work up the courage to go to one of these social events, but I always find myself awkwardly standing until another awkward person even awkward-er comes and talks to me. I don’t get how I don’t get nervous and have to courage be a lead in musicals, to perform in talent shows, etc. Yet, going into a situation where I don’t know anyone is tough for me. At least when i am on stage,  I am admired and I am not some awkward person standing on the stage. I am confident. I can be who I want to be and people believe I am that character. But that’s show-biz and it’s not real. At least I got out of the house for a change which is something different. As usual not looking forward to more school on Tuesday. I have decided not to be optimistic or pessimistic about the whole school/friends situation. That way, I am not disappointed or I have the chance to be surprised. I have a theory, if you wish for something to happen…it won’t. It’s all about the element of surprise.

Tid Bits: Here are two videos of a group of sister’s singing and harmonizing together. Though I’m not a big fan of the songs they sing…I think they are still very talented!

<Cimorelli Sister’s Singing #1> ……  <Cimorelli Sister’s Singing #2>  (Click on the links)

<Shaheen Jafargholi – Britain\’s Got Talent> —- Check out this talented young singer!

“Consciousness:  that annoying time between naps.”  ~Author Unknown

Today I took a “what does your handwriting say about you?” quiz. Well apparently my slanted handwriting means that I am very extroverted, the life of the party and I make friends really easily…lies. Anyway, today is the weekend and I have no plans as usual. Today I woke up at 4:30…I don’t like being awake during most of the day because it’s really long, boring and a longer opportunity for my dad to yell at me. So what I do is sleep during the day and stay up late…that way I get optimum time away from him yelling and reality. I know, it’s really bad, but right now it’s my only way of coping if you even want to call it that. One day I will probably regret wasting my life sleeping but right now, I like it that way. It doesn’t feel like I have been experiencing life recently because of all the crappy things that have been happening with me starting with my parents divorce and my mom kicking me out of the house. So, right now, I am at my dad’s teeny tiny apartment with hardly any breathing room, having to deal with his anger management issues on a day-to-day basis…but that is not the least of my troubles, let me tell you.

Listen to:  Mr. Pitiful (by: Matt Costa)

“One who looks for a friend without faults will have none.”

Okay, I admit this is my problem. I am waiting for the perfect friend but that doesn’t exist. I just have to see the good in the potential friends I have and pursue them for their good qualities. Today was a better day, not the greatest though of course. I think the key to having friends is humor. If people can see that you are having a good time and you are comfortable laughing around them, then I find that their tension and grudges breakdown slowly, which is why I try to be funny. I laughed a lot today at school which hasn’t happened for awhile it seems. I am going to try and put a smile on my face each day. My piano teacher told me that if you assume someone is mad at you then they can subconsciously think that you are mad at them, so they act angry or ignoring back at you. I try to involve myself in a lot of extracurricular activities and electives in order to stay busy and meet people. I got invited to go to this teen volunteer work place where teens are placed with disabled teens and you help them in new social situations. I can relate to being in uncomfortable situations and I am looking forward to meeting new teens.

So, to sum it up, my goals as of now are:

1) to laugh so people don’t read me as an uptight and unfriendly person

2) to see the good qualities in everyone and focus on the positive and not the negative

3) get involved, experience new things and meet new people

4)  forget about wondering if my friends are mad at me

5) stay positive and smile

“Seven days without laughter makes one weak.”  ~Mort Walker   (It’s so true!)

Random tid bits:

Listen to: “You Don’t Know Me” — Ben Folds & Regina Spektor

www.stumbleupon.com

http://www.flickr.com/photos/w00kie/sets/180637/show/with/7234920/

“Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up.”  ~Author Unknown

One thing I like to do in my spare time is search the internet and find cool videos, music, quotes, websites and other media. Throughout my blogging, I will be sharing some of my favorite links! Feel free to post some of your favorite online media! Click on the links and enjoy!

- I love finding unknown talented musicians. I found this one guy and I’m sure he will make it big soon….. < Alex Goot – Hate to Love Myself > & <Click Here for more Alex Goot Music>

- This guy is also very talented. He sings awesome harmonies with himself. His harmonies will give you chills…. <Singing in the Rain: A Vocal Jazz Multitrack>

- Search this on youtube.com! …. Search words: Sand Art

- Cool music website:  <www.grooveshark.com>

- Have you ever written a poem and couldn’t think of a rhyming word? Click here then… <Click Here to Write Some Ryhmes>

- Want to learn new talents quickly? Want to learn useful things? … <Howcast>

- Stream new and free movies! …. <Watch Free Movies!>

“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it.”  -Jack Handey

Today was my 5th day of school. Things have changed. People have changed. Where did the old times go? I used to have a tight group of friends. We would laugh together and share interesting things that are going on in our life, but now, all of that is obselete. I feel alone. Things in my life have happened (I will be getting to those occurances later on) that have made me a quiet and introverted person. Because of this, I am actually ignored by my “friends.” It’s like I don’t even exsist. I try not to focus on the small things, but having your “friends” look at you like you are someone they don’t even know, well, it hurts. Have you ever walked into an elevator with a bunch a people already in it? Well, going into this school year, I feel like I have walked into an elevator full of people that I don’t know, and people that don’t know me. Everyday, I walk into school with a postive attitude thinking, well, today’s a new day and a fresh start…maybe the day won’t go so I’m sitting alone or have to plan where to sit during my free periods so I look “occupied” with work. But everyday is like that. It’s almost like putting yourself through the same bad thing everyday. Let’s say you were allergic to milk, like I am. So you know what effect milk products have on your stomach…they make you sick. Why and how could you drink a cartoon of 2% milk with a positive attitude and a smile on your face when you know what the outcome is going to be? It hurts to be ignored by your supposed “friends.” You might ask, “well why are you still friends with the people who neglect you?” Well, all I can do is think back to the old times. The care-free times, the inside jokes, the places we went together and the long talks at sleepovers. How can I let what was there go to waste. I know, I am stuck in a rut. And it’s not like I don’t have any friends — I do, but it is a different relationship that I have with my newer friends. I think I have figured out the pattern of the people who ignore me, and right now, I am doubtful that things will go back to normal…atleast for a very long time. I also have to remember it’s only the 5th day of school, which is why I don’t go home and cry. Just being able to say tomorrow is a new day, helps me to get through. I don’t know when the time will come when I just give up, but I will keep you posted…